Mercy with Spouses

Almighty Allah says in the Holy Qur’an (which means):
And (also) of His signs is that He created for you mates of your own kind so that you acquire peace from them, and He created between you love and mercy. Verily, in this (system of creation) there are signs for those who meditate.

(Sura ar-Rūm Chapter 30: Verse 21)

The importance of the family in Islam as a social structure

The Quranic words ” Li Taskunu ilaiha” is a particular reference to finding peace and tranquility. The importance of the family in Islam as a social structure of primary importance in which morals and manners are developed and brought into being in young adults can hardly be overstated in as much as the noble Shariah sets out a distinct role for every aspect of society, leaving nothing at the mercy of whims or chance. This has the effect of rendering that social structure which we refer to as the family subject to divine laws and Shariah checks and balances, all of which serve to make the family a sound and fair structure by means of which security, stability and happiness are safeguarded at the individual, familial, and societal levels.

Islam brought with it an integrated social system firmly grounded in high morals. The family is a small scale society and the rulings of Islam seek to establish a favorable climate in the shade of which noble morals and manners flourish, which brings about receptiveness in the Muslim towards knowledge and character discipline. The act of instilling character discipline cannot be separated from social life. Rather, the two are integrated in such a way that it is impossible to address one to the exclusion of the other. The human being is only capable of exhibiting morals and manners in a social environment and the degree of refinement in manners and morals which he achieves is largely determined by the refinement of the environment in which he lives. The importance placed upon the family by Islam begins even before the primary family unit is established, with the command that one should pick his spouse carefully in order to ensure an environment fit for the development of strong and disciplined character.

Islam has declared piety and good character as the standard for matrimony. Thus it is that the Prophet(Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)  points out to men what sort of foundation they ought to be looking for and which considerations are of importance as they go about the process of choosing a potential wife.

Hadrat Abu Huraira(Radiyallahu Anhu) tells us ,The Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam)  remarked ,
“Women are married for four principle reasons;
for their wealth,
for their reputation and status,
for their beauty, and
for their religion.
Take hold, therefore, of the woman whose religion permeates her being and you will find success.

{Bukhari, Sahih (Kitab An-Nikah, chapter on “Religious Compatibility between Spouses”) vol. 7, p. 7, no (5146)}